Zoo An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
Statistics the only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
Statistician a man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
Housework is what woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
America believes in education the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
Definition of Statistics The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
Definition of a Statistician A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended.
Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
