Rita Rudner

Chanakya Neeti - Eleventh Chapter , English Proverb , Manning Barish , Arabic Proverb , Chanakya Neeti - Third Chapter

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Rita Rudner

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Quotes

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

Rita Rudner
age
Quotes

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and boughr jewelry.

Rita Rudner
think , men , who , pierced , ear
Quotes

Men in high levels of government seldom surf.

Rita Rudner
men , high , levels , government , seldom
Quotes

My mother buried three husbands ... And two of them were only napping.

Rita Rudner
mother , buried , three
Quotes

I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.

Rita Rudner
business
Quotes

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

Rita Rudner
men , would , like , monogamy , better
Quotes

Most of the men sitting in first class on an airplane have really boring jobs.

Rita Rudner
most , men , sitting , first , class
Quotes

My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

Rita Rudner
mother , buried , three
Quotes

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner
marriage
Quotes

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner
marriage
Quotes

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Rita Rudner
pet
Quotes

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

Rita Rudner
women
Quotes

My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of howard cosell.

Rita Rudner
father , watched , football , sound , off
Quotes

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before.

Rita Rudner
most , turkeys , taste
Quotes

If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.

Rita Rudner
joke , audience , laughs