Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
At my age flowers scare me.
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family ... In another city.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
How can I die? I'm booked.
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.
I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.
I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
I get a standing ovation jaust standing.
If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
